this feels good

Who knew all it would take for me to start writing again would be 19 hours of inebriated transitory confinement. The responsibilities of leading a semi-healthy life on this planet. mm nope, ain’t healthy. The responsibilities of leading a semi-practical life on this planet can really start to devour the part of oneself that is pushing you to live in the first place. And it’s so sneaky too, you may not even notice you just got maneuvered onto the conveyor belt of the uninspired. Until maybe you find your drawings and your bills have switched locations in your room. The latter being left in plain sight, reminding you of your obligations. shit’s wack.  Let’s just vow to do everything that feels good. 
I’ve been awake for 3 1/2 days now, it feels really good, and dad’s all for it. We drank bears, ate beef, and walked through Petros Paolos cemetery to visit aunty and grandma resting in peace. I got too excited sipping on ethiopian moonshine, thinking it was just jamey---no no---95% alcohol content X sleep deprivation made for some memorable poetic justice that now can’t be remembered...
so. much. more. to. tell. not-enough-connectivity. ciao


embarrassed that I haven't posted since 2012. Nevertheless, here are more words. 
byebye undergrad. I hope the past four years have quenched my thirst for organized success as I let my lofty side take over. 
Our commencement speech by David Boies, the anti prop 8 lawyer, was only saved from being a total disaster by his mention of banal platitudes. I then was able to listen to his words, which otherwise could have been mistaken for anti prop 8 propaganda, in the beautiful lens of David Foster Wallace's 05' commencement speech. I was reminded that knowledge is simply awareness. Some find the guidance of a professor to be their route to intaking this awareness, some are more apt to discover it in the crevices of life. I excitedly shift from the first to the latter but all the while knowing that I will return.
It doesn't really feel all that momentous though. Maybe it's because I don't have a propensity to be sentimental, but all the people I've met and love, the interests I've ignited, and memories I now hold are not being sequestered just because I wore a cap and gown....they're all coming with me. In all honesty I just feel an overwhelming sense of pride for being able to keep my cap on my fro throughout 2 ceremonies.
And Ryane, if you're reading this and you've arrived in South Africa, Zimbabwe, or wherever is next, can you send us a smoke signal in the form of an email! please! 


New York I love you but you're bringing me down.

     Some moments to share of my tumultuous love affair with New York City, and my propensity to divvy up said love affair with other cities of the Californian variety. 
     These days I've been full of furtive glances and ponderings; many being about our world full of solipsists and if life's different constraining forces are to be reckoned with or rather just cowered from. Well, we'll see about all of that, for now, here's all of the in-betweens. Happy Beginnings of Holidays. 


Realizing if I conjure up a moment for a snapshot, it always just ends up being covered in virtual iPhoto library dust, never again being seen by my human eye. Wherefore, I don't post very often, but Instagram really is superlative for fleeting moments, at least for those of us who have let our phones be the keys to our lives. 
Hmm...that sounded like a true tech-addict, merde! 
Actually, yesterday I realized I left my phone in my apt once I got to street level, and I didn't go back up to get. Totally redeeming right?
Well in other not so self-depleting news, I've been most enjoying meeting friends by happenstance and letting the romance of life carry us into long withstanding friendships. Not totally withstanding though, some temptations aren't meant to be resisted. 
I think these photos successfully echo the past month; peaking smiles and open-mouthed laughs while watching the season change from my caged bed and atop a bicycle at the piers. 
It has been most fun to continue the search for balance between my drive for organized success and free-spirited lofty sensibilities. I honestly think I have a split heart that aches for completely different lifestyles, but having kindred souls to laugh through the undeniable mistakes with is what I have come to think magic is all about.


Je fucking t'aime

      Such an incredible week orchestrated by my friends and family. Never felt so loved. Mom&Dad both flew in for my party that I of course didn't know about. The weather was a perfect medley of sun streaks and short stormy moments, and I spent more time dining than ever before. Now simply enjoying a week off before everything starts back up again, a whole lotta' time in bed, brunching, and Brooklyn.
     Danny has taken a likening to burning shit, and I haven't protested because it's actually really fun. Yes we are burning a photo in the picture down there, but it wasn't a self-soothing eating-a-pint-of-ben&jerrys-while-watching-a-movie type thing. It's rather just for the sake of the feeling that erupts when there's a fire lit in a dark brick room during summertime with nyc sounds outside; It's quite somethin'. 
Thank you all for the celebrations, loving texts, posts, and tweets included. 


Savoring the season of minimal clothing

  I find myself content in really stupefying places and positions. Especially in the summertime. Must be the heat, or my subconscious saying that I should enjoy lounging anywhere and everywhere before lounging is no more. I did this weird thing the other day where I went from my normal annoyance at the SF vs. NY question to trying to explain why it is so unnerving to me. Oh you moved because you hated it? Do you like New York better? If you liked it why'd you leave? 
     I can sympathize with people's need to understand something through comparison, but really only for like a second, and then I become extremely disagreeable. It's quite unflattering. 
     Striving for comfort has never been a mission of mine. Contentment, Yes. Comfort, No. I don't mean to be hubris and speak for all of human existence, I've just been a bystandard when comfortability has bred a stagnant and ironically unfulfilled life, and would rather fall on my ass into a bed of peonies than be served red roses on a silver platter everyday.
    You know, one door closes and another one opens. I just hop through doors more frequently than some people deem appropriate I guess. But then I ask, who ever says "ooOoOOooh I really want to be appropriate today"?